Absolutely website - Guest Book Comments
As you can see it was a very popular comedy show, which people
now have the chance to watch again on DVD !

Do you have any comments to add to this guest book? Then click below:
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If for any reason you would like your comments removed from this page, then please let me know and I will do so asap.

Guest Book comments made by the many fans of Absolutely.
This guestbook has been on-line since 2001

Andy - thanks a million for your part in getting the Absolutely DVD boxed set released. I received mine earlier this week and since then I've had the mixed fortune of being ill for a couple of days (no, really) and have therefore managed to re-watch the early stuff, and "fill in" my fallible memories. Thrumble nose, Gwyneth swarming, the Suzuki 350 - it's faster than Jesus - and of course Monsieur Leuve-Poomp and Mrs. Biche-Quoin. Brilliant. Thanks again.

Sean Ellis
Farnham, UK

I'm so glad to see Absolutely has FINALLY been released! I'll be sure to order my copy from the UK and have it sent to the US of A (I have a multi standard DVD player)

Now, how about releasing Mr. Don and Mr. George on DVD??? All great stuff!

Thanks Andy!!!

Mike Quinn
Welwyn Garden City, then San Francisco, then Arizona, now Houston, Texas

Just to say, what a great treat to visit your web-site - a gem, just like every epsode of 'Absoluetely'. Me and my brother would avidly watch the sketches back in the late 1980s/early 1990s . And yet, we have never found anybody else in recent years who appeared to watch them - quite surreal !!
Only recently did I ask a table of 8 or so other friends and not one had a recollection of the hilarious characters.
Now I can pass on this website address so that they can also appreciate what me and my brother did back then.
Keep up the good work !!

Jennie Greatrex


Fantastic site, stumbled in on the back of the absolutely links on you tube, I think my wife will hate you LOL, cause I'll be shouting wait till you see this one - a lot!

feargal mellon
Derry, Ireland

Fantastic.  I fell across your clips on youtube.  One of my favourite sketches is the Welshman in the shop (Waht you got there then, shoes is it?).  Brilliant.  I particularly love and use quite frequently the quote form the Welshman, "Never wear open toed sandals, it's cruel to toads".

Keep up the good work, and I wait for the DVD.

Too many good characters to mpick one particular favourite.

Denzell, Gwenedd, Bert, Frank, the list goes on.

Derek Willoughby
Leigh, Lancashire

Absolutely fantastic news that it appears that Absolutely might soon be available on DVD.

And brilliant work on the site. Every element triggers a flood of memories, and silly giggles. I still bore my kids silly doing a dislexic mindreading act, or flogging stuff to them in the kitchen ("Pound a pound, pound a pound") - I'm looking forward to the first high street Poundshop that sells pound coins for £1 ... I'll be in there all day.

Donald and George, Siadwell (I can recite two of his monologues from memory), Frank ... I fell in love with Morwena Banks (somewhat disturbingly, bearing in mind some of her characters) and Calum ... oh, what's the point ... I just looked at your site and realised I would end up listing every character going.

My one wish is to grow old, and become Bert Bastard...

Tom Davidson
London UK

Just wanted to say what a quality website, dedicated to a legendary tv programme. much better than half the stuff on nowadays.

keep up the good work


Linking, I'm only linking. You probably don't know, you probably don't know, you probably don't know what I meeeeeeeeeeeeean!

Can't stop, off down clwb sboncio for a pint of cheesewater, then to buy a van off Mr Slightly-Thomas.

Tidy site!

Dave Bates

Best comedy sketch show ever!!!!
Calum Gilhooly is a living god - brilliant

Also, series 1,2 & 3 are currently available via Virgin Media's TV on demand service.

Alistair McIntosh
East Kilbride, Scotland

Aw man, how I remember this!! great site.

I used to watch this when I was about 17, and at the time it was THE funniest thing on TV, and for me, nothing much has come close since, except maybe Father Ted.

Even to this day I can text my mate who I used to hang about with at the time and say "200" and he will wet himself laughing (the skecth where the kids are trying to out do each other with the smkoing).

As for the best ever sketch, has to be the beardy bloke laughing his arse off on the tractor. Makes me cry with laughter.

I actually tapes the whole lot on VHS, will have to have a look for it next time I'm up at my Mams

"Denzil, there's a big hairy spider in 'ere!"


Paul Horrocks
York, UK

Brilliant website, Andy. I've really enjoyed viewing some of these sketches again.

You may be interested to know that John Sparkes presented a six-part documentary for ITV Wales called 'Ghost Story' last September and October. (Imagine a very tongue-in-cheek version of 'Most Haunted'.)

Even though it was supposed to be a documentary, he still managed to get plenty of smut and schoolboy humour into the show, and it was really entertaining!

I, for one, would buy an Absolutely DVD if it came out. It's clear, watching it again, how much of an influence it had on 90s comedy - particularly The Fast Show.

Mike Whalley

When absolutely was on TV originally, I recorded every single episode on VHS video tape (including the ads!).  I treasured these tapes for years as I realised the significance, even back then, of how good, original and damn funny the show was!  There were too many favorite characters to have one single favorite but I saw so many of them replicated in shows like BBC 2's 'Fast Show'.
In my mission to convert all my friends to Absolutely fans I systematically lent the tapes to all my mates over a 3-5 year period.  One of my 'friends' decided thet were so good that he himself would pass them on to his friends supporting my mission!!  As you can imagine, they were never returned to me!
Many thanks.

Kevin Hawkins
Essex, U.K.

I Met Moray Hunter and Pete Baikie at the Gilded Balloon during the Edinburgh Festival. The possibility of a pilot show for the Beeb in the pipeline. Moray has been trying to find a website where he can view Hearts games in London and laughed about the fact he is now 10 feet tall with a group of other Hearts fans on a massive picture on one of the Tynecastle Park stands. It was taken during the 1998 Scottish Cup final.

The guys were in fine form and looking in rude health.

Alex Horsburgh
Fife, Scotland.

Absolutely excellent !! I stumbled across the website following links from looking at the entry for "Saxondale" on Wikipedia !!

I can't believ that you have some of my favourite moments from Absolutely on the site - Frank Hovis was always a favourite, and I rememebr watching the farting one when it was broadcast.

I also remember the spledid sign "No Wasps" sign that was in the house for Don and george.

Keep up the good work.

Andy Parr
Littleborough, Lancashire, UK

Couldn't agree more. Stocked and Shunned that it's not available.
Hasn't Nikki from Big Brother stolen her act from Morwenna Banks little girl character?

IT IS IT'S TRUE!!!!!!!!!!

Hughie Moan

I was so pleased to find this website. I totally loved this series, it was the best of the 80's/90's. I am so glad other people feel the same. They should show it again (Little Britain etc etc have a lot to thank them for)

Nichole Campbell
West Yorkshire

Your website is wondeful and brought back great memories of a fantastic and sadly forgotten (by many people) show.
I really, really hope your petition forces the release of a DVD (or, preferably DVD's!!) very soon

Keep up the good work!

Neil Mackie
Doncaster, UK

I had mislaid the link to this site for a year or so, so it's great to hook up again today and see that Absolutely Productions are looking to put out a DVD boxed set. Congratulations on your lobbying efforts, and also on the new site.

Sean Ellis
Location : Farnham, UK

Andy, as it now looks like a DVD release is on the way, I would just like to thank you for your hard work on the site and the petition. 
With a bit of luck we may have something decent to watch on TV this Christmas.

Thanks again.

Ian McGill
Bristol, U.K.

Every time for the last 15 years when I fart in the bath I think of the Frank Hovis sketch about diarrhea and not flooding the bath and it not being like a sausage and being able to 'scoop it 'out. Great site and funny memories,I still remember the beardy guy laughing at funny stickers in cars, do you have the one when he is driving the tractor?


Just found this website dedicated to my all-time favourite sketch show.
Glad to know it exists! So many golden moments to savour: Callum; Denzil and Gwynned; and the Nice Family.

I loved the Stoneybridge Town Council's Olympic Bid Vido:
"We don't have a velodrome, but Maigret's got a bicycle"

The System Analysts band is hilarious.

Also Peter at the piano as the smug singing-linking man:
"Trousers, I'm wearing trousers,
They're marvellous and made of crimplene.
Trousers, I'm wearing trousers,
You probably don't know, you probably don't know what they are..."
Has anybody got any Davy Bond movies?

Classic stuff !

Chelmsford, Essex

You have excellent taste in comedy good sir!
I found the adverts bit of your page some time back, and was highly impressed. So there.
Today, I look up Absolutely and here I am! Wowser! Coincidence? I thought so.
Keep up the good work. I'll sign yon petition in a mo as well, while I'm at this posting lark.

PS Chewin' The Fat? Genius as well.

Greenock, Inverclyde, Scotland


Does anyone remember that some of the cast went on tour as a band called the Hairstyles? I saw them at King Tuts and won a Frank Hovis turd for the best hairstyle... ah the good old days!!

Stewart Kennedy

Thanks for including the Pete Baikie interview Andy and hope it adds to your already excellent website, I heard it ok on my pc, a great edit !!

[ Edinburgh ] Festival FM returns in 2006 and we are working on perhaps doing a station for Hogmanay so we will keep you posted.

A plug too for WWW.EdinburghGuide.Com which might end up as the host of the Hogmanay station if we can organise it.
Thanks again to Pete Baikie for his time this year and we hope to have a chance to interview more Absolutely cast members in the future.
Keep fighting for the DVD release of ABSOLUTELY.

Alex Horsburgh
Cowdenbeath, Fife, SCOTLAND.

In the voice of Callum Gilhooley:"I saw this programme on the telly right, and there was these 6 guys who was dead funny right, only one of them was a girl.....she was the only girl out of these 6 guys, but she was dead funny aswell even though she was like ......erm actually I think there was 5 guys who were funny and then this girl who made up the 6th guy who was  briwwiant .......did ya see it?"

Brian Wilson
Salford ,Manchester

Hallelujah, somebody else who loves absolutely. very underatted comedy. why on earth it's not out on dvd god only knows. nice one.

Mick Hunter


Very good site, the soundboard is great.  More McGlassan!  I seem to remember Gordon with a character that was an actor walking through a park talking gibberish, rowly, bowly on the lawn etc etc.
Well done

Joe McLeod


Yes the character by GK is in Series 2 episode 7

Brilliant series especially the baby joephus.

Dave Hunter


You might be interested to know that Pete Baikie was a guest on Festival FM's drivetime show during the Edinburgh Festival this year. Festival FM [87.7 fm in Edinburgh and worldwide on the web], in its second year,
was the only dedicated radio station for the festival and after success at its location outside the Sheraton Hotel in Lothian Road in 2004, the Festival FM outside broadcast truck, also used to broadcast at the Glastonbury festival in 2005, relocated to Bristo Square near Edinburgh University for the three week duration of the famous festival fringe.

Absolutely fanatic, and ex-Scot FM presenter Alex Horsburgh, collared Pete as he was on his way to his fringe show run VARIETY SANDWICH, his co-star being none other than John Sparks.

Pete was as good as his word and a couple of days after the invite joined Alex and co-presenter Emily Oyama [too young to remember ABSOLUTELY unfortunately] for a 25 minute stint on Festival FM's 5-7pm slot where he talked about the '' good old days '' of the Channel 4 cult comedy and, ofcourse, gave a mention to this website.

Pete was as modest as ever as Alex compared ABSOLUTELY to Monty Python, or at least an east coast of Scotland version of it, Pete also filled the listeners in about the whereabouts of the rest of the team.

Pete brought along a cd he had picked up on his travels from a suburban elderly American housewife who had a recording session bought for her for her birthday by her rich husband. The cd was then released on an independent label and Pete brought in a copy to the studio. Her renditions of a number of well known MOR hits would have seen her last about 3 seconds on X factor but two tracks from the album were played as Pete's muscial comedy guest brought a touch of the famous Absolutely-style humour to the airwaves.

Alex suggested Pete do a dance mix of the songs and Pete reckoned that might be his next project !

Alex quizzed Pete on an Absolutely reunion but although Pete was keen on a DVD release for the series he could not see a time when the team would reunite [ '' not in the near future anyway '' ] as Absolutely was, in his opinion, '' a child of its era. ''

Absolutely Anorak Alex reckoned Pete had taken over from former Hee-bee-gee-bees member Phil Pope [the 1980's spoof tribute of the Bee Gees also included Angus Deayton] as the man to call when you wanted a soundtrack to your comedy show and Pete agreed he was getting a lot of work writing themes and jingles for tv comedy these days.

His fringe show VARIETY SANDWICH with Sparks also went well we hear with characters included that would be fitting for a 2005 version of ABSOLUTELY.

Alex also revealed he had had his Absolutely video collection stolen in a break in to his flat in 1995 and incouraged C4 to get the DVD's out as soon as possible.

Pete was a great guest and is welcome back next year when Festival FM returns.

Alex is attempting to retrieve the interview from the Festival fm log and if he can get it he will send it to the web editor.

Alex Horsburgh
Cowdenbeath, Scotland, just outside Stoneybridge.

Update : This full interview is now on the Sounds page HERE.

I would just like to second all the comments made below - I sometime vainly wander into HMV etc. and look under "comedy - A," knowing full-well the closest I'll get is Absolutely Fabulous. Off the top of my head, I remember the bloke with the kids who kept saying "by Swindon" and someone else wearing raw chickens as slippers (I can't believe I saw that! am I sure I haven't just had a bad dream?!?!?!) as well as the old faves like Stonybridge and "it IS! it'th TWUE!" I'm sure there's loads I don't remember as well.

Mike Jones

Hi, Andy,

I had the great good luck to interview John Sparkes at the Edinburgh Fringe two weeks ago. The interview was for a Welsh language magazine, so it was mostly about his work in Wales.

But I thought fans of Absolutely might be interested, so I've put the interview (in English!) on my website, at www.parryleluniverse.co.uk if anyone would like to read it.

Great site by the way, thank you for all your work, and especially for the video clips. "Dressage Without Horses" still has me rolling on the floor, and I've watched it about ten times now!

Helene Parry
South Wales ex-pat to Brentford Lock


You may get this from a number of visitors, but Gordon Kennedy was my P.E. teacher at Selkirk High School.  I recall that he left SHS to work with Russ Abbott, and obviously the Absolutely show -- which still rates as one of my favourite comedy shows of all time ever.

A few years later I was walking down Oxford Street in London and spotted Gordon turning into a side street.  I ran after him, and called "Gordon Kennedy?"  He stopped and said, "Yes...?"  I said, "You were my P.E. teacher at Selkirk High School!"  He said, "Ohhh... s**t...!"  He remembered me, and we had a great chat.  I said how much I'd enjoyed Absolutely, and he was genuinely touched.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

Gareth Saunders
Edinburgh, UK

Just back from the Fringe having seen Frank Hovis in "Fllth". Absolutley hilarious, small audience but very appreciative - my friend had not seen him before and he was in pieces! Absolutely was always one of my favorite sketch shows, a real precursor to the Fast Show. Long may it be remembered!

Brett Jacob

What can I say. After spending too much time trying to find Absolutely on DVD and only getting 'Absolutely Fabulous', I was delighted to find this website.
I thought I was the only person on the planet who remembered McGlashan and his latest literary works such as 'The Hurly Burly Bag', Callum Gilhooly sorting out his record collection into alphabetical order and getting confused when he got to 'T' and especially The The, and the'Facilities' available when Stoneybridge Town Coucil decided to make their own promotional Vidayo.
Let's do everything we can to get this out on DVD. It should be a national treasure, 'It's twue, it is'.

Kevin Burns

I loved this programme. As you said it was one of the funniest sketch shows ever made. I remember it being repeated on Paramount but unfortunately never taped it. Would love to see it again to see if it stood the test of time. Calum Gilhooley was the funniest thing ever (every time I'm in a Post Office it makes me smile).
The website is fab, it brings back some really funny moments. Is that a VIDAYO?. LOL

Kevin Edgar
East Kilbride, Scotland, UK

In case anyone's in the Edinburgh area....  saw Peter and John in their latest shows on the Edinburgh fringe last night.  One show with both of them, with lots of brilliant characters (including Shadwell) and some nice use of video, and a late night show with Frank Hovis, called 'Filth'.  See them both!!

Edinburgh, UK

What a find!!!! I thought I was the only one in the country who loved and remembered ABSOLUTELY! I can't commend Andy enough, not only for the idea of the website, but for excelling in its content too. I can now educate my wife in the fineries of Stoneybridge, and maybe she will understand what the hell I've been on about all the years!
You just made my day!!!

Matt Evans
Torquay, Devon

This man has saved my life!!!....one of the best comedy programmes has risen from the grave.
I used to have a few episodes on tape but the tape got so old I had to throw it away...one of my favourite sketches was Bert when he was making a cup of tea which thankfully is on this glorious site...on a bit of a side track here, does anyone else remember "Let the blood run free" which used to be shown late on channel 4 too? it was an Australian spoof hospital drama and it was very funny...just thought that it being shown on Channel 4 some-one else might remember it?...

Best Wishes,
Lyndon Brock
Manchester U.K.

Friday night to me is having a few beers and watching some side-splittingly funny stuff on the telly. Absolutely has never been bettered for this purpose.
I'm so glad I managed to tape a few episodes so I can still indulge myself! Some of my everyday conversations subconsciously include 'absolutely-isms', like pronouncing 'Baguette' like the posh couple do , 'Seen Canary' in the Stoneybridge manner and 'it are Wednesday, thank you very much' when asked what day it is a la Denzil.
Unfortunately only my husband knows WTF I am talking about. So come on Channel 4/Absolutely folk or whoever orchestrates these things, get the VIDOs released on VHS/DVD. The nation needs educating on what a great series this was.

Full credit to Andy for this site, it's superb and fills the void until Absolutely is again brought to the publics attention.
Theres too many favourite sketches to mention, but narrowing it down, a good one is Calum booking a flight to New York (G for Gnome, I for I, as in me....)

Debbie Regan
East Yorkshire, UK

Top notch site. Well done for keeping this programme alive.
If you have a hand in getting it released onto DVD I will be due you a pint, even though you're English and, therefore, deviant.

Andy Balfour

Thanks for a fantastic website! My brother sent me the link and after trying but failing to buy Absolutely on video or DVD anywhere, I spent a happy evening in watching these great sketches, only a taster now I want more!
Fantastic, the ONLY comedy show that has actually made me wet myself! If that's not tribute enough then I don't know what is. ;-)

Daniel Williams
S.W. England

Superb site - well done - I had fogrotten about how good this was.


Absolutely brilliant. When I was in 6th form, Absolutely was aired and it quickly took on an almost Pythonesque following from those of us in the know, to the extent that we decorated the Chemistry lab windows with lettering spelling out... well, StoneyBridge of course. One big letter per window; almost half the length of the building it was in the end.

Most people walking past outside didn't really get it, but that didn't matter:  it was our little bit of promotion for a show that should, and rightly deserves, repeat airing and a DVD release. Unfortunately I don't have it on vido -- sorry, vidayo -- so I've been relying on my memory to keep the sketches/characters alive. Now they've been jogged by the clips on your site and I can't believe I'd forgotten about Baikie's piano sketches. Pure class.

Please bring it back I say to those in TV land. Let me at least buy it on DVD so I can own this slice of comedic genius and laugh till it hurts again. With all the derivative "comedy" about, shows like this are so rare they need to be seen by more.

I've sent a link to this site to the various guys back at 6th form. Let's get Absolutely higher than the number 30 slot in the next comedy sketch awards! After all, a lot of today's stuff has its roots here. It's easily up there with the Fast Show, Chris Morris and even what I remember of The Lenny Henry Show (The Briti... Brixton Broadcasting Corporation should be ashamed of themselves for never repeating/releasing this, though it's probably quite dated now, unlike Absolutely).

StoneyBridge: twinned avec Paris... pour l'argent? Non! Pour la prestige............ et l'argent!  *wipes tear of laughter from eye*

Coventry, UK


I found your site via notbbc.net and I think it's great.  Everybody who remembers Absolutely (and there are sadly not enough of them) remembers it fondly and it only takes a moment for Stoneybridge, Callum, Little Girl, Frank Hovis and Don and George to come flooding back. 
Best of luck with your campaign to get Absolutely released on DVD - the whole lot, hopefully, rather than highlights!  In the meantime, your downloads section is excellent.  More!  More!

Brighton, UK


I just wanted to thank you for your website!  I have been absolutely killing myself laughing at the vidayo (!) clips you have.  A bored moment browsing this morning has led to many hours of laughing.  I had honestly forgotten how hysterical Absolutely was.

I used to own a vidayo of one of the series, but it has been lost in the moves of life which is a real shame.  To be able to once again see Albert Bastard saying the words "now the question is, do I have a bath? and the answer is - bugger off" after all these years has just made my day.

Thank you - the internet truly is a wonderful thing!

London (formerly Edinburgh - therefore especially proud of my former schoolmates!)


I have been a fan of Absolutely for many years, and have only just come across this Stoneybridge themed corner of the web.  I love your site and will be returning.  I do have a question though:

1) I may be going insane and halucinating, but I seem to remember an Absolutely spin-off TV series featuring two of the characters from Absolutely, the show could have been named after the two characters.  One of the characters had odd shaped lens in his glasses one of them was oval. And one of the episodes was called "You can run but you cant hide your legs".  Did this series exist? and what was it called? Or am I really insane?

Once again thanks for the site.

London, England

Reply from Andy - Yes it was called Mr Don and Mr george, and was released on Video as per here.

Andy, just wanted to let you know that Ive just spent a superb hour or so watching all the video clips on your site. I thought Absolutely was a wonderful show and can't believe it has never been released. Really appreciate the time and effort you've put into this site and wanted you to know that it is greatly appreciated.

Scottish Borders

Well done for a great site! Saw Stoneybridge sketch on Channel 4's top 50 sketches last night, totally brilliant, seeing this today brought back memories such as staying up to watch the show when I should have had an early night with an A-level exam next morning...
Been a long time since seen the shows but favourite bits (aside from Stoneybridge) included: The dad of the Nice family trying to explain to the kids (what the viewer thinks) is him having S&M sex with the wife, referring to "Mrs. Bichquan", then it turns out she's a real person who comes to visit. The song "start wearing a suit" i.e. if you're a loser, wear one and it will transform your life. On a similar tip, someone ranting about how important it is to have your hair in a parting, using two examples of (a) how to and (b) how not to have your hair; (a) was Hitler (nice neat parting) and (b) was Jesus (long unkempt hair).
The Scottish nationalist bloke going about the World Cup and how it's biased in favour of England, who have rubbish teams to play, while Scotland's World Cup group was something like "Brazil, Germany, Holland, Argentina, Brazil" (he mentions at at least one team twice), and finally:
Callum going to the video shop for a "Davey Bond movie" and the eventually exasperated sales assistant recommending some film with Sean Connery, Roger Moore, John Wayne etc. just to get him out of the store.

London, England

I remember this show well, its a classic, channel four should repeat it as I'm sure its suitable 'family' viewing.

Carl Redfern
West Midlands


Congratulations on a fantastic site. Its my birthday today and watching the clips you've provided has been the highpoint.
I never wash, I eat catfood and I piss in the sink...

Duncan Will

Edinburgh, UK

Stumbled across your website totally by accident. Spent the best part of 2 hours watching all the old clips again. brings back so many memories. Doesnt matter how long ago you last saw the episodes, still found myself finishing every line. Keep up the good work on the website and lets hope someone sees sense at channel 4 and stops showing so much simpsons and friends repeats and gives absolutely another go.

Fraser Elgin
Musselburgh, East Lothian


Like everyone has said in the guestbook, well done Andy for making this site! The video clips are so good, and made me laugh like they did all those years ago.

I also have many tapes of Absolutely, and Donald and George. Top comedy! Please please please the powers that be, release them on DVD! The kids of today NEED to see them!

Andy Corn
Almeria, Spain

What a fantastic site!
Worthy for the greatest sketch show ever made bar none.

Top work!

Tony Bridgeman
Surrey, UK

Nothing like a nice cold cup of tea.

...And with that one line, even the worst day, I smile.
Thanks John Sparks!

Jeff. P
Skelmersdale, UK


Just thought I'd give a few memories in case they help anyone...

I remember recording over (the first series?) or Absolutely - the one with the fly on the opening credits with no sig tune - thinking "it's ok, I'll record it again the next time they show it" - gah!!! what a mistake.

"Stoneybridge - with it's... Stony Bridge!", "Seen Canary"

Shadwell talking from his coffin, Callum Gilhoolie driving his "best friend" to hide at the end of the world, Callum Gilhoolie giving very long and detailed directions to a place, Pete Baikie's "I Can Do Anything" (to this day I can remember virtually all the words - and the way several of his songs ended with the little - dum-da-dum - ending)

All I still have left on video now is the David Bowie episode of the Jack Docherty show (and of course Jack's "appearance" in Red Dwarf).

I was listening to something on BBC7 and at the end of it the list of writers included "John" Docherty and Moray Hunter.

What's that really good Scottish sitcom with the two old geezers? That has a very Absolutely feel to me - when are BBC2 going to show it again?

Glad to see that, excepting John Sparks (what IS he doing now?), they've all gone onto to successful (Ratings? Critics? They're no measure of success) further programmes. Mr Don and Mr George, The Creatives, Morwenna in just about anything, Gordon with the Lottery and Jeremy Hardy, Pete's name as composer on many programmes.

I remember Jack and Moray taking over from Fry and Laurie on Saturday Live/Friday Night Live (who can remember?) and them coming down on wires onto bar stools.

I'm sure, unfairly, programmes such as the Creatives will never be released on DVD or repeated. Is there any way of seeing these again???? Just for us? Come on, we'll pay the costs of some office junior to blow the dust off, copy it onto a tape and post it! We can even donate some money to a favoured charity. They'll only rot in some tv production company's vaults otherwise.

And yet... and yet... Friends is repeated ad nauseam and in box sets. IT'S RUBBISH!!! RUBBISH!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
I feel as angry as McGlashen. Oh yes, "He's here, he's there, he's every-f*****g-where, Mickey Weir, Micky Weir..."

Vince Tennant-Tavares
Hampshire, UK

Reply from Andy - Shadwell was actually a character from Naked video, but he was played by John Sparkes.

Absolutley one of the best and funniest comedies to be shown on tv. loved it to bits. full of brilliant characters,my favourite prob being callum gilhooly. I particularly remember his out of the anorak experience episode,and the one where he was in court. Denzil was another of my favourites.
This is a show that must get repeated if only to educate all of the folk I have told about it who dont remember it. DVD release would be an excellent idea also. So please please whoever/whatever authority gets to read this get it shown again, or I will have to send the boys round, callum and denzil ! then you will be laughing!

Pete Jones
Wolverhampton west midlands

I have been online to the Channel 4 website to vote for "Absolutely" sketches, and I think it is criminal that one of the finest UK sketch shows of the last 20 years has been virtually ignored on DVD.
I fortunately taped series 3 and 4 at the time, but my tapes are getting seriously worn out now - hence, a DVD release is long overdue! "Absolutely" may not have been the biggest ratings puller of all time, but it has a passionate army of fans out there, and there are certainly enough to justify a DVD release of the series... If Channel 4 can't be bothered, then I'm sure a forward thinking outside firm like Network Videos might well be interested!

Just as well it's DVD's these days, and not "Vido's" - otherwise, it might get confusing!

By the way, I pulled up beside a car the other day, and in the back was a sticker which said "My Other Car Is A Porsche"... Ohhhhh, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, wo-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa (etc!)

Richard Phillips-Jones
Dorset, UK

The production company should show where it all began, the series was superb dont let it be forgotten."so you can give me a medical then?"
"I could give you a medical now!

Gavin Russell
Bonnybridge, Scotland (aye go on your thinking of it arent you?)

ABSOLUTELY amazing!!!
So many people thinking they are the only ones who remember Absolutely!
Let it be known that the names of Denzil and Gwynedd are known even in far away Israel. This couple was the favorite of my son and myself, plus the Stoneybridge gang. Today at work someone mentioned "Stoneybrook"' which didn't sound right to me. Then I remembered a name from the past -STONEYBRIDGE!!
A search in google led me to this great memorial site. It is great to find other fans of something you thought no one knows about.

Thanks for the memories

David Marnin, Israel

Thanks for filling up a lunch hour (and promise of more to come) with an excellent fan site of a much missed and much loved programme.
I keep telling people how ground breaking Absolutely was - there are almost direct comparisons in numerous 'new' sketch and comedy shows - Calum Gilhooley as a slightly dafter Ronald Villiers (for 'Still Game' fans), Naughty Kids as Kevin and Perry etc.

Me and my wife still laugh like drains at the very mention of Stoneybridge - 'With it's stony bridge!' - and have struggled for years to find on video or on (I now know) non-existent DVD.

Thanks again.

Fantastic programme. I remember recording series three and watching it endlessly although don't know where it is now! Just watched the Frank Hovis Taxi sketch from the website - classic!

Bob Smith
Bradford, UK

I saw several episodes of Absolutely while working in the UK, and have hoped for rebroadcasts or availability on video in the US ever since. It was hilarious!

Your site has given me renewed hopes. One of my favorite skits, and most memorable, was the angry Scotsman who rode a bicycle for miles and miles to the English border, just to shake his fist toward England and shout "Bleedin' Poofs!" I assume that's the sketch you described as Scotlands Border With England in Episode 1 of Series 3.
Thanks for all your hard work and the excellent reminders. Good luck.

Jim O'Bryan
Dallas, Texas, USA

Great site. Let's hope the petition works and we're watchin Absolutely from the comfort of our sofas (or lavatories) soon!!!!

Take that ya big chinned....!!

Graham Smith
Larkhall, UK

I left the UK in 1991. Never watched much TV while I was there (and haven't changed much). Absolutely left a mark however - I still think of 'saving' money by buying more razor blades.
BRING IT OUT ON DVD - PLEASE! It's every bit as good as the best of Monty Python.
What's the benefit of keeping it hidden away.

Yours from Stoneybridge - Pete M
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Hadn't viewed the site for a while, love what you have done with it. Makes me nostalgic and gives me a right good laugh!

Colin Dunlop
Cumbernauld, Scotland

Hi, good to see the Absolutely team are still remembered. I was with them from the first series of the Bodgers on Radio 4 and still have tapes of those radio series.


Nice site Andy, and I thought that I was the only one...(I can't press a button anymore without doing the bendy finger thing from the Donald and George sketch, "we are NOT encyclopaedia salesmen (in case you were wondering)", people think I have a problem).


This was one of the best comedy sketch shows ever and should be made available, I have a few episodes on Video that I recorded but would like to get them all on DVD or Video so please please please everyone sign this petition!!!

Jan McLellan
Glasgow, Scotland, UK

Still makes me laugh just thinking about it. The guy on the piano who could "go anywhere and do anything" was sheer class....especially when he was passing a kitchen window.


I was also fond of a children's series called "Jellyneck" produced at around the same time featuring Morwenna, (and possibly some other folks). The format of this program was rather like Tony Robinson's "Tales from Fat Tulip's Garden" except that it featured FOUR actor/narrators, and even more surrealistic storylines. This series has never been repeated to my knowledge, and has sunk into the swathes of myth. Would love to see it again, but I guess it's unlikely. Anyone remember it?

Brennan Young
Copenhagen, Denmark

What a fab site, takes me back. Keep up the good work

Geoff Birss

Wow - looking at these clips I can see The Fast Show and The League of Gentlemen had obviously been watching. It is. It's Truuuew.

Morwenna Banks used to have me almost wetting myself, and I can still remember most of her 'And yes I do know how an airy plane works'. But it was so long ago that I didn't make the connection until I saw the old clips the other day.

That 'nice' family for some reason remind me of the family in the League of Gentlemen who's father Harvey who keeps toads. And Ged in the Fast Show (which I can't stand) is very like another one of the Absolutely characters.


Hi Andy,

Great page and excellent video clips, they had me in tears!!

Many thanks,
Lee Harris.

I'm another one who thought I was the only one who remembered ABSOLUTELY (and Mr Don and Mr George). I had vidEoed them, on crap tape, and thought they'd OBVIOUSLY (name for repeat series?) repeat them, so dumped the tapes. Managed to order one from WH Smiths a few years back,
but it was a rare crap programme.
Favourites have come back to me reading all the other fan letters... the old geezer relating how the names of the East European states had changed, and changed, and finally changed back to their originals...and he'd kept his old atlas, which was now correct again. Also, him trying to make a cup of tea and finding it a bugger to open the cellophane on the pack of tea, having to saw through a bag of sugar, and finding it so hard to open a milk carton he had to jump up and plonk down on it... and he couldn't be arsed to heat the water so he just had a nice cold cup of tea...
The man in his favourite (blue) anorak (actually "my only anorak") still awake during an operation... and Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman, from the gentleman in the toilet apologising profusely for having to admit that his turd in the back of the taxi was particularly stinky ... What else?...
Gwenneth and Denzil !(AH!) and their almost-English Welsh-speak... she, sucked into a vacuum cleaner. Ah, the years have dropped away. Maybe I can dig out one or two tapes. Yeah, I'd love them to issue DVDs. And of Mr Don and Mr George... the light bulb... girlfriend air hostess... the YW's. Brilliant. Haven't the actors or their proud parents and siblings got copies of the tapes, dammit? We'll pay for them, and more.
Brilliant. Head and shoulders above Python (and I was a fan). Get the bloody Scottish parliament to do something important and legislate for these programmes to be issued on DVD. I'll use them for teaching English.

John Collins
Newton-le-Willows, Lancs.

Dear Andy,

Thanks for putting together a great site. I've just read some brilliant stuff on the guestbook. My personal favourite sketch is the one here Gwynedd gets trapped in the vacuum cleaner (it was one of these spherical ones that hovered that they sold in the '60s - I am very ancient). After a bit of argument, Gwynedd says: "The least you can do is let me out", to which Denzil replies: "No the least I can do are nothing at all, and that's what I are doing... nothing at all!"

As an aside, I believe that John Sparkes did voices for "The Big Knight" (best cartoon ever). In the episode about the troll bridge, the troll sounds awfully li e Denzil. John Sparkes I presume? Or am I just barking up the wrong tree?

Ta very much.

Tom Meiklejohn
Bradford, UK

Hi, I have been giving impromptu renditions of "Denzil and Gwynneth" for years, it is fantastic to know that there are people out there who recognise the genius of Absolutely, and also sad to know that my warped imagination did not make the whole thing up.

Kim Morgan
London, Poofland.

Thank you

A haven full of like minded lunatics. Nice to see I can now prove to family and friends I did not make it up. Just hearing Stoneybridge made a dull work day better.

As for some of my memories of the programme:

Gwynned asking Denzil "Why the vacuum cleaner he do suck?"
Denzil: "Because he has no teeth Gwynned!"

And the old gentleman played by John Sparkes talking about putting his old chap in the punch and having it well thumbed at the old people's party. Finally, my father and I still use the phrase about a "titanic struggle in my underpants"!

Keep up the fab work Andy!
Damon Wheaton
Lambourn Valley, NW of Newbury, UK

Great site! I have been looking for info on this series for ages. My favourite characters - Denzil, Gwynedd, Shadwell, Frank Hovis and the Old Lush of an artist who tried to seduce her male models.
My favourite sketches - Gwynedd getting stuck in the hoover bag, Morwenna as a castle tour guide and of course the Seen Canary council meeting.

Andi Townshend
Gravesend, UK

Like many others in the past I have searched for such a site but with no joy. I'd almost given up...thank god for hangovers and long saturday mornings...

Anyway, thanks for a fantastic site. The clips just bring back too good memories.

All the Best
Jasper Gillespie
Hong Kong, China

Fantastic site. So nice to know I'm not the only looney still raving to people about this great but sadly now forgotten series. My brothers and I have spent many years in stitches watching the a couple of ropey old VHS cassettes full of episodes one of us still has somewhere, and I bought a fiend 'The Vid-o' for his wedding present about 8 years ago, having converted him to the cause over the years.

My favourite character was the English-hating Scottish poet McGlashan, with his books about going back to 1965 to assassinate the captain of the English football team, etc. I remember him at the end of one
episode riding up to the English border on his bicycle, stepping over the border into England, shouting 'You're just a bunch of big . . . English . . . Poofs!' or something similar, and riding away at top speed
looking over his shoulder.

I was also pleased to find two classic Don and George sketches - I remember they had weird signs all over their house, like 'No Wasps' and 'Get to Falkirk'. The doctor sketch has to be one of the all-time

Keep up the good work - any more sketches you can provide will be really welcome.

Ciaran O'Sullivan
Plymouth, UK

This is brilliant.

Absolutely ranks right up there with Monty Python as far as I'm concerned. McGlashan's Hurly Burly bag was a genius piece of writing.

Keep up the good work.

Edinburgh, Scotland

I remember a few episodes of Absolutely. It was subtitled and programmed in France, but not all the series. I don't know which season I saw.

My favourite parts were : Don and George, the overconfident man with the piano, and the man who always laughed reading stupid jokes. (I don't know if I am understood. I'm not very good in English)

Especially Don and George. I saw only five sketches with them : The "We are not Jevovah's witnesses", the "George, you're simply the best", the one in which they play super-heroes in order to not paying their taxes, the one in which the killed a cyclist in their garage, and the one in which Don thought he might be pregnant.(It will seem a stupid question, but are they gay or what?) Each of them left a deep mark in my memory. :-)

I have taped three episodes. I see them a lot, again and again.

I am happy to find some fans. :)
(In France, no one even knows about it)

Florence Azé,
Lyon, France

My Website

Bloody hell. And I thought I was the only one! I have two very aged VHS tapes of this marvelous comedy, my friends think its odd, even not funny (but then their all heathen buggers who wouldnt appreciate class if it hit them in the face with a bowl of soup Mr Don? No indeed not.

Got to your web page via the TV ads, fantastic man, especialy Callum!

Remember expect the unexpected, that way when the unexpected happens, you will in fact be expecting it!

Oh bloody hell aye, remember Mr. Louve - Poompe the Spanish scout leader helping Mrs. Beech-Queaun?

Fantastic, I must take some more pills and have a little lie down now.
Keep up the good work.

Marty Richardson
Lostock Hall (Earths armpit) Lancs. UK.

Great to see a site so dedicated to Absolutely. I had an entire series of this on video and lent it to someone who now claims they never had it so i resigned myself to losing it, everyone i talk to about it never remembers it. the one sketch that used to have me in stitches every time was the 50m freestyle for people who are very bad swimmers indeed (what series was that?)
It would be great to educate some of my friends about REAL comedy for a change.

well done on the site and keep up the good work.

Paul Gladstone : )
Glasgow, Scotland

Hi Andy.

I was just talking about Absolutely the other day, and no-one I meet has ever heard of it - my cries of "but you must remember Stoneybridge! With it's stoney bridge!" and "Partings...." were to no avail.

But I am saved!
For the record, one of my all time favourite sketch was where Don and George go to buy some wallpaper... I recall lines such as...

"No, it's too near."
"Too near what?"
"Me. It's too near me. Do you have the same pattern, only slightly further away?"

"It's no good. The pattern clashes with our cookers jacket."

"I'm still not comfortable.."
"Well, can I suggest you take the coffee percolator out of your arse?"

I also hate you, as I am now forced to download RealPlayer (bane of spyware haters!). It'll be worth it though.

Dan Aucott
Earl Shilton, UK


Got sent to your site via a Newsgroup posting, I didn't know it existed. I like it a lot! Praise the Lord for ye have given us video clips!!

A few years ago I found out nobody had done a website about a little Comic Strip film called Mr Jolly Lives Next Door, so I made one myself. It got quite popular (at one point I remember it had more hits than my local council) and the guest book ran into pages. Just goes to show, this sort of comedy does have a long life, it lives on in the minds of viewers and we need places like this where we can come and quote stupid lines like "if you're life's as dull as a fridge, warm yourself up in Stoney Bridge".

Or if you fancy another, how about saying this out loud, in a Welsh accent: "It's my ambition to live forever. So far, so good."

keep up the good work.


Ross Brown
Berkshire, UK

I remember John Sparkes singing 'Tears' at a Stoneybridge Village Fete, and I almost wet myself.
I never missed a show, and wish I'd bought the vidos. Greatly missed and far better than some of the tosh that's about at the moment!
Great website, only found it today, it's now in my favorites

Andy Hargreaves
Burnley, Lancs

Excellent website
Just read the guest book, brought tears to my eyes. Would love to have a copy of all four series.
Why has nobody mentioned Frank Hovis talking about bathtime?
Colin Smith

Great web site. Good to see the video clips. Would like to see more.


I would have been but 14 when the first series of Absolutely aired but I have a great memory for comedy and can still remember most of the sketches verbatim. I'm amazed that it has never been repeated: I'm a huge Python fan too and I can't help but feel that Absolutely can stand shoulder to shoulder
with it any day of the week.

Interesting Trivia - For those that remember the original Stoneybridge sketch (The olympic games bid with dodgy music and voiceover: "....We haven't got a velodrome yet but Maigret has a bicycle so you can't fault us for spirit in - STONEYBRIDGE!") the shots of the village in the sketch are of a place called Briech in West Lothian, Scotland. I used to go to school with people from Breich - It just added to the appeal!

Steve Gillanders
Derby U.K

So glad to find this site! I too really rated Absolutely, and wish I'd managed to tape the episodes on Paramount Comedy.

My favourite characters were definitely Denzil and Gwynedd. In one episode, Denzil received a request to speak at the Welsh Institute of Wood. Gwynedd found him his suit, which she had mended, so it had no arms. Denzil's response was "I look like somebody from Llanelli." These lines became jokes between my very Welsh father and me, and being a DIY fan he considered himself a member of the Welsh Institute of Wood!

Thanks for collecting my memories here - we think these things will go on for ever, and so forget to save them while we can. It was great to reminisce about Calum Gilhooley and all the others.

Andrew Rogers
Worcester, UK

Great website. I just returned from a english friend's wedding in Georgia, USA, and we were quoting the excellent "More Frills" sketch from Absolutely.
Don't suppose you have a transcript or video clip of that sketch?

keep it up
Adrian Robinson
San Francisco USA (UK expat!)

Excellent website.
Just read the guest book, brought tears to my eyes.
Why has nobody mentioned Frank Hovis talking about bathtime?

Colin Smith

If you can say 'Nice boots those shoes' in a Welsh accent, or hear a word even remotely sounding like 'Stonybridge', without giggling like a schoolgirl - there's something wrong with you.
Guess you ARE what you eat...

Clive Townsend
Wells, Somerset

Great site! Nice to see some clips of the show again, I too think it's high time this quality show was given another airing. I always remember the sketch involving Don & George becoming 'GeorgeMan' & 'Donan' to avoid paying taxes! Genius.

Keep up the good work! :O)

Tim Debbage
Norwich, UK

Absolutely is the one of the most under-rated shows ever. The comparisons to "The Fast Show" are obvious, but absolutely got there first and was a hell of a lot stranger and more innovative.
It was the kind of show you had to get used to: I saw a couple of episodes from the first two series and thought they were utter crap- by the time I had finally tuned in to the style it was almost too late.
I suspect that the series will never be re-shown in its entirety on terrestrial TV, as it would make most of the current output look pathetically unambitious and dull. Best memories: Frank Hovis explaining how he sprained his penis running for a bus; Stoneybridge attempting to bid for some major international event (Olympics? can't remember details); anything involving Callum Gilhooley.
Did anyone see John and Peter's show "Squawky-Talky"? I can understand why it was buried in the schedule, but it was quite funny if you were VERY drunk.

Andrew Daley
Wigan, England

Thrumble nose!!! I also vividly remember an episode from the final series when the cast, supposedly cleaning up in a stable, start prancing around like horses.
There was also the old chap played by John Sparkes who couldn't look after himself, who talked about his care assistant coming round with "I touched her on the quim".

Martin Ridings

Well firstly this is a great job. I've been up for far too many late nights looking for something.
Favourite sketches. The 2 guys at the party who come out of the main room and try to sit on the same sofa but just wobble around because they are scared to touch each other!

Thruumble nose where they get attached to anything pink and the only way to get rid of them is to show them something pinker!

And of course mr nice in his bondage gear and once again on ecstacy.

Thanks all.

This site is good. I remember "absolutely" like it was just yesterday. Personal favourite was DIY Denzil, who appeared to frequent the club "spunkin" where he drank "cheesewater"........very surreal.......sometimes scarey, Richard Morris eat your heart out.
A good balance of cultural slanging, although a bit heavy on the Welsh (it's usually us scots that get it!).
Keep up the good work Dave, I know how much effort is required to maintain such a site.

Stuart Graham


Congratulations on a top-class site. Thanks in particular for the opportunity to enjoy some new (to me) video clips.

I have watched and re-watched my 2-and-a-half series of rather manky off-air recordings over the years, and they still make me laugh. Me and my friends used to tune in religiously at University. Of course, some of the catchphrases are still in use. "Seen Canary" is one, and Callum's "It's big, it's blue and it's got lots'o'pockets" can be used to describe virtually any item of clothing.

The one clip I remember but only ever saw once was the "Thrumble Nose" clip, where one's nose would become irresistibly attracted to pink objects. This is typical Absolutely humour - just try explaining that to someone who hasn't seen the series. If you are thinking about adding another clip to the site, I'd vote for that one!

It was sad to hear that the original tapes may have been lost. I hope that John Sparkes is mistaken about this, and that the series is at least rebroadcast.

Keep up the good work.

LIKE a lot of other folk, I think a good DVD collection of the early stuff is well ovedue.

DOES anyone else remember the old Black & Decker electric saw ads from the 1970s with a proto-Denzil Welsh handyman in a brown overcoat, buck teeth, wild hair? "...And for metal, you need one of these ... one of these ... one of these..." I'd love to know if this is where the idea for Denzil came from. As for his missus, what in Swansea? Making a gorgeous Cornishwoman like Morwenna Banks THAT ugly was tremendous work. Am I right in thinking there's a town in Cornwall called Stoneybridge?

My other faves included Frank Hovis singing Ken Dodd's 'Tears' - I nearly went apopleptic laughing at that. MacGlashan hit right home (Up yer jacksies Jam Tarts). Our crowd called the old guy 'Albert Bastard' ("stimulate 'er clematis" - I am laughing as I type here) and the Stoneybridgers. Scotland is spending £400 million on a parliament building that is supposed to cost £90 million - I'm sure Brucey and co would appreciate that!

What else? I found Donald and George were okay in small doses - I liked the 'Get to Falkirk' signs. The same with Calum (sorry Moray), although the Jehovah's Witnesses sketch broke me up. I thought about picketing a church to protest 2000 years of racism, sexism and attempted genocide after that.

What else? I'll have to post again - the Llandudno Neck's playing up again, so I'm off down the Club Sponkyn for some Old Phlegm Luvvly Beer. By the way, what were the names of Denzil's 'brother' and 'long-lost son'?

Alan Mccrorie

Absolutely WAS a very funny, very clever programme; one to which others (e.g The Fast Show) owe a huge debt (Old man getting a laugh from saying "Arse"? - credit where credit's due please Mr.Whitehouse). I subconciously quote this programme daily - anyone who hasn't seen it really has missed out.

I've had the good fortune to meet Gordon Kennedy (in 1994) and John Sparkes some years later. I had a drink with John at a London theatre as we quoted his characters together - a real gent. However, he did inform me, as did Channel 4, that the Absolutely tapes no longer existe so there is no chance of repeats or further sell-through videos - so if you have "off-air" copies, duplicate them now to be on the safe side.

Tim Hirst

HOORAY! Plentymuch thanks for doing this webpage. My chum, and only other person I know who is a big fan and can remember everything about all the good comedy programs pointed this out to me so I'm very happy indeed.
Ever since I saw the episode with "Vid-Day-Yo" they've always been called that, and when I meet anyone called Bruce they always get called "King Brucee", though they never seem to really appreciate it (All two of them, infact I now feel the urge to email them about this as they never understood).

Also, there's a Stoneybridge just off of the M5 off Junction 4 (Near Stourbridge and Rubbery [Stupidly it's pronounced Rue-berry]) and everytime we drive through it, much to the chagrin of my misses, I shout
"StoneyBridge!" now I can prove that I'm not completely certifiable!
Plentymuch thanks indeed. :)

My first memory of Absolutely is of the Pale Bearers running around with a little matchbox with something dead in it, and it all being rather stupid (in a brilliantly humourous kinda way that isn't present in anything around today). Also, there's no mention of the scarey Doctors with the animated
eyes, they scared the hell out of me as a 12 year old! (Yes I'm quite young at a spritely 26)

I've got the odd episode scattered around battered old tapes but nothing in full except for Mr Don and Mr George! Hooray! And I fully agree with the whole Absolutely = Absolutely Fabulous, uninformed idiots. AbFab doesn't even touch the same comedic genius levels as Absolutely.

Another comedy series that Channel 4 need to release on DVD is Paul Merton:
The Series - cause I'm missing one episode from Series 1, that's cause my family are idiots and took the leads out of the back of the video for some unknown reason cause it was wasting electricity or some other stupid idea (I can't remember the exact reason that the aerial was removed but as I recall
it was exceptionally stupid).

Also, BBC need to get orf their collective bums and release Mary Whitehouse Experience and the spin off series. It's true it's true my mummy told me so!

Please do me copies, I'll give you plentymuch cash and help you out with a spider I know -"If you ask nicely maybe he'll give you a kiss". Go on, go on, go on...

Now I've got Gwenneths chicken slippers stuck in my head...

Bristol, U.K.

After searching Ebay to no avail for ages - I decided to do a search & it was only by looking at Blackstar & seeing "Absolutely The Vido", that I finally got somewhere in doing a general websearch.
I am SO fed up with seeing Absolutely Fabulous return from my searches! This series came up in conversation with a friend earlier in the year & I thought it'd be great to track down anyone who might have it.
This is a great site & a great resource of information about it. But presumably you have no idea of any plans for video re-release or DVD release? In which case are you - or do you know anyon who has the episodes able to make a copy? Naturally I'd re-imburse in every possible way!

Thanks again for finally being a worthwhile find after all my searching!


Sussex, UK
Yes Paul I have all epsidoes from all four series on video tape.

Hello Andy,

I thought I was going crazy - I seemed to be the only person that remembers Absolutely.
I thought for a while I might have imagined it!

I could go on-and-on about why Absolutely was so brilliant, but I'll just tell you my fav sketch. It's where the people of Stoneybridge put on a talent show.
It's probably the funniest thing I've seen in my life!

Maybe you could e-mail us all if and when you hear that it's available on video/DVD ?

Who can we contact to urge on the release of a video?

Great site - loved the pictures!

Kind regards,
Jim Douglas
Cornwall, UK

I used to LOVE Absolutely and was a fan from day 1. I still think Morwenna is a sex symbol, she was incredible! Fave sections were Denzil (we still do him when we're drunk), The Nice Family singing the "sensible hair" song and talking about Mr Louvre Pomp, also of course the residents of Stoneybridge.
I also watched Don and George but not as eagerly and managed to catch Morwenna in a few episodes of "Sabrina, the teenage witch". We definately need to get our collective might together to get the team to speak to CH4 about releasing the whole thing on dvd.
I know about 5 people who want it, and that doesn't include myself.
Hello's to all the team, John Sparks you mad git, we still do Shadwell as well!

Thanks for many hours of laughs and if the dvd comes out loads more.
I'm off to the Welsh Insitute Of Wood!

Ray Daley
Coventry (No where near Stoneybridge!)

The laughing man:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa!
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha na nuh ha ha ha haaaaa!!!
Yeuhh huh ha huh ha heh haah her hech heee haa hoo HAAA!!!

Channel 4, when are you releasing these on DVD?
Craig W

I completely agree that Absolutely was one of the best sketch shows around -
I would love them to be released on DVD or Video... or repeated!

I'm sure there was supposed to be a Christmas Special a few years back, but never saw anything about it come Christmas time!

Great website.

Jonathan Williams
Jersey, Channel Islands

Praise the lord, someone else (some people else, going by the guest book) who remembers this show.
I have come across very few people who remember this show and I can't understand it, soooo funny.
very nice to see a site dedicated to it and especially nice to see clips etc, I haven't laughed that much in ages.
Keep up the good work, I shall certainly direct a few people to this site. Thought of hassleing Channel 4 till they relent and re-release it on video????

Miles Davis
Aberdare, Wales, UK

Dear Andy

Along with everyone else, I'd like to thank you for setting up this website on Absolutely.

I did have a couple of episodes once, but on odd bits of tape, so eventually I gave up on them, but it would be great if the show could be repeated or issued in full on video. McGlashan is one character I remember who you don't mention - is there any particular reason? I must admit I did find him funny and I'd kept an episode with him reading the news, but partly taped over it because I kind of went off being nasty about the English eventually...

Apart from the regular characters, and the sketches others have mentioned, three scenes that particularly stay in my mind are
(a) the party where two of the blokes try to shake hands but their handshakes are so insipid they just manage to bounce the backs of their hands off each other;
(b) the flatmates who can't be bothered to get up to find the remote so end up pulling down bookcases from their seats to try and get it that way
(c) Morwenna Banks as a very funny tour guide round a castle.

These are all real sketches, aren't they? You start to wonder if you've made it all up after a while!!

Best wishes and thanks again
Moira Langston

Yes Moira the three sketches you refer to are classic ones which I remember also and have on tape.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!

This show still makes me laugh, and I haven't seen it in years! Andy, thanks for making sure the flame still burns for "Absolutely". I'm sure you've heard it too many times already, but do you know of ANY way I can get any of these shows? Where do I sign, who do I lobby, etc etc etc??

Great job!

Tobin Craig
Maryland, USA

Yes Tobin I have all epsidoes of the four series on video tape.

I was so chuffed to find a site dedicated to one of the funniest shows ever produced.
Everyone I've ever spoken to about Absolutely has always looked at me blanky and said "what, you mean Absolutely Fabulous?", thank god I'm not the only person who remembers this great show, I was beginning to think I dreamt it! :-)

John Sparkes is a comedy genius!!!!!!!!

Thank you once again!

Darran Payne
East Sussex

Hello Andy,
Have to agree with the people on this page, BRING IT OUT ON DVD OR VIDO AGAIN.
Great site & Big Jerry also passes on his congratulations when scoring AN GOAL.

Favourite characters... most of them to be honest.
The Nice family especially Jack Docherty, love the "She's only making a cup of tea" sketch.
Bert Bastard, I downloaded the clip in the supermarket at work yesterday & was crying laughing watching it, the bit with the peas is still fantastic. People I work with have never even heard of Absolutely, Shame on them.
The modern couple as well, the "gibbering torso in my backpack" line always makes me laugh.
Morwenna Banks as the little girl, old ladies shouldn't have a baby in case it's a hairy monkey, etc.
But I think my favourite are probably Denzil. He are probably the funniest for me.
Phew....could go on all day.

Thanks again for a great site. Right I'm off to hit Jimmy Hill with an Arbroath smokie.

Stockport, UK

Dear Andy,

it's about this bag! that you get one wish, etc etc oh how I cried with laughter.

It is without doubt the best sketch ever created.

I actually had all of absolutely on video at one time. The first series being on Betamax! The second and third on a long play VHS. About four or five years ago my brother in law wanted to tape "the tour de france" and my dad lifted the tape without realising and recorded 4 hours of cycling over my most treasured tape that I had recorded faithfully with NO ADVERTS for near two years. Obviously the Betamax tape is long gone.

Ever since this has been a major sore point within my family as they never understood the big deal it's only a tv show. Truly heartbreaking.

Would love to watch it all again, oh and John Major is really sorry as he's just a big English poof.

Kind Regards

Dave Wright.
Aberdeen, Scotland, UK

Let me tell you, sonny-jim..

it's not often I mess myself whilst laughing at a televisual "programmmmmme", but back in the day, when I was fiffifteen-ish, I certainly remember waddling over to my mother and shyly whispering :

"mum, can you wash the excretion off my trousers again? absolutely was on.."
...and getting a clip round the face-hole for my choice in anus-opening comedy shows.

I was recalling, the other day, how in those misty-arsed days I would (almost literally) be going through a pair of trousers every week...

These days, however, I have been wearing the same pair of tope chinos for almost ten years...

Let us pray that the comedy series known as "the scottish one that ripped off python" is NEVER resurrected, as I for one am quite fond of my clean chinos (a pair that I feel even the mighty Don Johnson would have been proud to wear in miami vice).

and shock, horror, if this show was ever to re-appear on the twin formats of DVD and VHS, I'm afraid all the currency I have saved in non-trouser purchases over the years would have to be used to obtain every copy of said series, whence upon I would be forced to place them in new packaging bearing the slogan "the best of graham norton's jokes" and re-distribute them in the nation's stores, thusly rendering them unpurchasable by the generic pubelice.

live the dream.
John S. Caldwell II

Hello all ! Having watched both "Vido's" of Absolutley (Its V-I-D-E-O !) and reminiscing of the past I have just been on the net to try and see if any of Morwenna Banks half hour comedy series were available on video. Hey presto ! I find a site of Absolutley fans with Morwenna Banks saying how good it is ! Brilliant ! They probably don't have plans to do another series, but I hope they realise that it was very original stuff.
Thanks for the site.
Anyway I'm off to............... "Stoneybridge !!!"

Boris Thompson
West Bromwich

Good Evening Ladies and Gentleman and welcome to 'On the GGlavatory' with Frank Hovis,

This sketch always cracks me up and I would gladly give Channel 4 a ten pound note to show it again. (Well actually it's a fiver that I wiped my ar** with but I'm sure they won't notice!)

Let us hope that Absolutely is re-released, on DVD and maybe a Vido 3. There should also be a campaign to show Barry Welsh on national TV as well as he apparantly continues to do the Gwyneth and Denzil sketches.

Great website Andy and all the best then...All the best NOW!

David Yan
Warley near Stoneybridge

Just a quick line to say what a brilliant site!
At the moment it's the nearest we are going to get in respect of Absolutely clips.
Please. Please, you Absolutely lot, do consider re-releasing the Vidos! You'll make a mint judging by the other comments posted here.

When I'm getting tarted up for a night out, my husband still asks 'Have you fallen down the stairs, Gwyneth?' to which I reply, 'No, Denzil, I just put some make-up on.....'
My friends who never saw it need to be educated so they know what i'm rabbiting on about, so, please I need to buy the Vidos!

Keep up the good work!

(p.s. Calum Gilhooley on the phone booking a flight to New York is the one which has me helpless, it's a work of art.)

East Yorks.

What can I say about Absolutely. It was on during my student days and was about the only thing on TV that was making me laugh. As for other shows of that time, I didn't like Naked Video at all (with the noteable exception of Shadwell who was to become Frank Hovis on his lavotory).

Then there was Absolutely on Channel 4. It was Brilliant Celtic comedy. I mean without the dumb songs it could have been slightly better, more sketches less songs. Morwenna Banks though as that brat, and messrs George & Donald McDermott I mean sheer class comedy. By the way, I told ma mate who has a Kawasaki 500 just how good it was.
Channel 4 ought to give this one a re-run, for all the people who missed out on it...

David Wilson
Texas, USA

Aaaah, sweet memories! I have 2 or three episodes of the Fan-blooming tabulous 'Absolutely' on video - I can't watch it too often, as the tape is deteriorating :(

It must be released on DVD, as I'm fed up with people correcting me when I talk about it.
Me - "Do you remember that fab programme on Channel 4 - Absolutely?"
Thicko with no sense of humour - " Oh, you mean Ab Fab, with Jennifer Saunders and Victoria Wood? Oh, yes, that was soooo funny...."
Me - "*&$##*&!"

My fave sketches - Stoneybridge Promo vid-ay-oh with the pronunciation of Sean Connery as "Seen Canary" (which I still use to this day), and the wedding video shot as a heavy metal/goth/rock video - very funny ("Let's go shopping!")

Anyway, enough of this - release the programmes on DVD (or video) forthwith!
Fab website by the by - good show!

Helen Greenwood

Really enjoyed your website. It is criminal that they have not all been repeated.
You mention that you have all episodes on video. Are you selling copies?
Please, please, please. I have been telling my sons what a brilliant program it was and would love to show them all the shows.

All The Best.
Tony Armes
Isle of Wight.

Absolutely is one of my all time favourite shows. Unfortunatley, due to numerous watching sessions, my copies of The Vido (It's V I D E O!!) and Vido 2 are now on the poor side.
Do you know of anywhere I can pick up copies of these absolute masterpieces, especially Bert at the sports day informing us that "The whole stand's crawling with ....." and MacGlashan trying to describe the plot to Nip Nap Sh*** and The Hurly Burly Bag.

Anyway, great site, have sent the link to many others for them to chuckle at.

Keep up the good work and I hope to hear from you soon.

Steve Smith
Aberdeen, Scotland


Frank Hovis is presenting a brand new show for BBC Wales TV called Pub Quiz and he's looking for contestants.

We need teams of three people who share a similar job or hobby to take part. We record the show in Cardiff, so if you live in or around South Wales and would like to come face to face with Mr Hovis then call Jim Campbell on 02920 322 012.

If you live in Wales you'll be able to see the show going out on the 2W digital channel.

Jim Campbell Cardiff, Wales
January 30th 2002

Hi there mate , what a fantastic website I particularly liked the video clips and was wondering if at all possible sell me or swap copies of all the episodes as all I have is half of the episode with "sensible hair" in it...the rest being long since taped over.

It takes me back to when I used to sit up at night to see it and then be tired at school the next day. Calum was an obvious favourite as were don and george...I can remember the "george you are the greatest" sketch being particularly funny.

I would kill to get my hands on copies of the videos and if you were willing to copy them for me I would be eternally grateful. I will pay you or I can offer every episode of Vic Reeves Big Night Out (including on tour and the new year one) as an exchange.

I have told all my mates about it and also wondered if I could put a link to your site on a website me and my friends have just started.

Kenny Howie Darvel

I adore your site. I've just been looking around your website 'Absolutely Andy' and have been enchanted. It's lovely. I came across it looking for info on 'Absolutely' the TV show since I've heard people rave about it yet am too young to remember it, and as you say, the vids have been deleted.
But I gorged myself on the clips you supplied and cannot thank you enough. They're superb.
I promise to delete them in haste. ;) Calum is hilarious.

You've put so much work and effort into your various off-shoot sites they make for great reading.
I loved your photographic exploits too.

Thanks for a great online experience Andy!

Best wishes,

P.S I don't suppose you know of anyway to get hold of Absolutely videos do

Hi Andy,

Great site! I have been looking on the net for an Absolutely-related page since I came on-line, and yours is the first!

Yeah, I agree that all the episodes MUST be released on DVD, and the quicker the better.
Channel 4 have to be made aware of the fanaticism which surrounds the programme, including my brother and myself, and most of my friends! It got so bad at one stage, that on Friday nights, we used to leave the pub early just to get home to see it!!

Keep up the good work, please, and keep us informed of progress.
If you could, as was suggested by an earlier respondant, let us know by e-mail, then that would be great.


Craig Mollison
A Dundonian in London

Excellent site!

I noticed you said you had EVERY absolutely espisode on video - are you selling copies by any chance? I would kill for them! I moved to the US a year ago and just have to educate the people over here!

If you have Mr Don & Mr George too that would be grand!

I was (am) an enormous fan of Absolutely when I lived in Edinburgh and used to drink in the same pub as Moray Hunter and Pete Bakie - every Saturday after a Hearts match we would see them in 'Diggers' (the Gravediggers Arms) - drowning their sorrows or celebrating a win!

I would love to buy copies of the shows on video from you (including Mr Don & Mr George)! I bought a video that plays tapes from any country on any TV - so I could play my massive PAL collection over here.

I need to educate my friends and colleagues over here in the US - they just don't understand my humour! I tried showing them Chewin the Fat but they didn't understand a word.... I can't wait to see what they think of Stoneybridge!

I am so glad that I found your site - I have been searching for ANYTHING on Absolutely for years - and finally it pays off.

I'll talk to you soon.

Lindsay Ewing
New Hampshire


I've really enjoyed your Absolutely web site... I used to watch the show every week, in fact I probably have many of them on video.
Unfortunately I live in the US now and the videos are all at home with my parents.
Of course the video format here is NTSC, and the UK's is PAL, so I could not watch them here anyway.

I remember when Absolutely was on TV that most people I knew either did not watch it,
or thought it was crap. I think they were the same people who did not get "Who Dares Wins"...
did you ever see that?

So thanks again for the memories... I particularly enjoyed re-watching Frank Hovis talking about his behaviour in a taxi.
What a classic!



Site looks tops.
I used to watch Absolutely on tv- from near the beginning I guess. Shame about the deletions.
I have vido and was looking for number 2.

Do you get any feedback from the Absolutely team?
Keep up the good work

Cristian Holmes

You are a hero! What a great site.
I have searched endlessly for years for an Absolutely site. Thank God I found this.

I moved to Illinois USA recently. So a London born person can only go in persuit of his memories of the
superb British comedy. Your clips and sounds are great - very much appreciated.

I know that the audience was much larger than would seem to be the case.
At the time it played I remember so many different people talking about the show - why it still doesn't rank as an all time great I don't know.

It is pure characterisation genius.

You mention a no.2 video...I have that. But damn it, it is the only one I have.
All 'Vido' tapes have been deleted. I am left looking for the rest of the shows now.

I hope to learn how to build a website soon. I hope it turns out similar to yours.
I am a complete novice. I am in the state of Illinois.
Where abouts did you travel in the US...oh wait, why don't I just look it up on your web photo page?
Ok off I go to explore your site. Meantime it would be great to hear from you.

Very best wishes
Ejaz Syed

Hi Andy,
Just had a look at you Absolutely site, brilliant, I am still laughing at the Calum Gilhooley clip, I wish there was more clips of him.

I found your website on the google search engine. I downloaded the clip to my hard drive and played it in the office where we have a couple of other Absolutely fans.
I am Scottish :-) I watched Absolutely the first time round but I did not tape any :-( I wish I had now.

Kevin Black

Hi - found your site, I too think that Absolutely was one of the most underrated, innovative and side-splittingly funny shows ever! Although there were times when it could be a bit hit and miss, some of the sketches, especially Don & George, Denzil, etc were just brilliant.
I have several mates from Uni who also remember it. Most of the time we end up quoting from
it, e.g. always after getting out of a taxi one of us will turn to the other, "I gave him a tip, I said clean out the back of your cab".

Although comedy may have moved on a bit in style, I think that is is still right up there with shows like Alan Partridge, The Day Today, Larry Sanders.

Surely if enough of us get together they might consider bringing the series out on DVD.
Why do they not acknowledge their past I wonder!!

Do let me know if you manage to get hold of any videos - or better still DVD, let's campaign to get Absolutely Productions to bring out a DVD. Keep me posted.I'm going home to read my Absolutely Script Book that I picked up in 1993.

Keep up the good work anyway. You should start a mailing list to keep people posted and send a demand to get Absolutely back on our screens! I really want to get hold of the 1st and 2nd series

Dave Patrick.

I remember Absolutely Too and how fab it was too.
I had a great read, your page is excellent and full of stuff I half remembered, my fave sketch was the Stoneybridge stuff.

Mary Jinks

Can't believe how much I'd forgotton or never seen.
That sketch with the film enthusiast and Jehova's witness was a superb find. I love all the John Sparks stuff, especially the nuerotic Welshman and the great Mr. Hovis.
They actually made a lot of programmes didn't they?
It was great to see the old man shoplifting again.

Jack Doc's PC man apologising for using words like "girl" brought back chilling memories.

Thanks again & more soon!

Simon Young

Cheers Andy.
Your site gave me the best laugh i've had in ages. Absolutely is one of the finest sketch shows I've ever seen and it has never received the recognition it's so obviously earned.
it's influence on programmes such as the fast show and the harry enfield programme is clear for all to see. I look forward to all the shows comming out on dvd - the sooner the better.

Steve Beaton

Andy, Fanstastic website!

Bout time Absolutely was resurrected.
Wish I'd videoed (or rather vidoed) the lot now.


Hi Andy,
Fantastic Site.
Found your site through Google, while searching on a whim for John Sparkes.

I was a regular viewer of Absolutely from about 90 - the last series. I have both videos (1 & 2), and all of series 3 and 4 on tape.

To me, John Sparkes was a genius, I love his characters Burt and Denzil. I remember that he and Pete Baikie did a one-off series of 6 episodes, the title escapes me, but it was shown on Channel 4 in about 1995, and involved clips of animals with Sparkes and Baikie adding comic voices.

If there is any chance of a copy of the series...?

One of my favourite clips I've seen but yet to get on tape - Bert's suicide
note. Presumably you have the Absolutely Book with the script for that one in?

Don't have a website myself, too busy with musical things (like playing keyboards for Hawkwind...).

Kind Regards
Keith Kniveton.

Top website.
Brings back loads of memories from my late teens/early twenties. I've got about 2 hours worth of clips from the earlier shows and haven't watched them for ages - I'll dig them out now though.

Do you remember the sketch where the pushy parents were sponsoring their dead son to go on a round the world cycle ride and ended up throwing him out of a high rise block?


Classic stuff.
Brought a big smile on my face just when I needed it.

Can you get any Absolutely series on video or DVD?

Andy Cansfield

Andy ,
like you ,I have been searching the net to find videos of Absolutely.it seems a lost cause but you have to keep trying coz i"ll bet someone has a copy of them somewhere.i am 33 and my dad and young brother used to piss ourselves laughing every week. We actually had some episodes taped on betamax videos but when we all went our separate ways ,they got lost.its a ...mission of mine to track down these classic videos. How far have u gone trying to get these videos let me know.

I found your website after a few days hard work. I was trying to find absolutely through typing in names such as jack docherty, moray hunter,morwenna banks etc.I was having no luck,just kept on coming across ab-fab rubbish.Then I tried some places that do deleted videos,two of which are searching for copies for me .I dont have a website ,im new to the net,so it takes me all my time to write a letter.I got your
website after typing in calum gilhooley.I've stored it on my favourites,and it will stay there until I come across these elusive videos.

Keep up the good work,its a super site . I've notified my brother about it,and phoned my old man,and will
alert friends at work who will be over the moon about this.

Steve Thomson

Hi i remember absolutely also. (Twenty - eight yr old girl.)
Denzil and Gwynedd were brilliant, script writers had obviuosly done thier research there, I can tell as I'm Welsh. Thanks for web-site, just about to look at the video clips.

Cheers S.jones

Hi Andy,
Ah someone cursed with my own obsession.

I expect I would perform unspeakable acts to get a hold of the 1st series of Absolutely. I have one episode from it but it's a poor quality copy. Anyway I do have all of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th on "vido" tape if you're missing any episodes. Just give me a shout and I should be able to copy them for you.

Anyway, I found your site as I was doing a search on Google for John Sparkes who is something of a comedy hero of mine. I wondered what he'd been up to for the last few years and heard about Barry Welsh. Your site came up top of the list. I haven't looked elsewhere on it though, what else do you have?

I saw the first series of Absolutely and it blew me away, so I taped all the other series. Even went to a recording in London of one episode of the 3rd series.

By the way, outstanding site!

Cheers, Tom Dalziel

Hi Andy,
I have recently invested in a DVD Player and live in hope that there will be some output from the
Absolutely stable at some point. I'd really like to see the series again
Absolutely really should be repeated at some point.

I also have the two Mr Don & Mr George tapes and I also have a book I picked up some years ago called 'Absolutely, the words' which contains a selection of scripts but that's all I have to remember
the programs by I'm afraid, I'll have to download some of the video clips from your site at some point and reminisce :¬)

Burt was my favourite character also. I especially liked the sketch where he tried to prepare tea for himself and wound up by opening the packet of biscuits with a shotgun or something like.

Michael Kirby

Yep I loved Absolutely lots, good idea to try and get a petition going.
Any ideas whether that can be done on the web? maybe we could start a forum and get people to post a msg of support there. If we get enough we could then show it to someone at channel 4


Hi Andy

Came across your Absolutely page whilst searching for links for my Scotland website http://www.hootsmon.com/. It is a real shame you can't get Absolutely videos in the shops. I'm not a great fan of comedy repeats, but I'd love to see Absolutely again rather than interminable repeats
of Dad's Army.

Craig Weldon

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